misscarletwitch:

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
  • image
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • This is my reaction to everything else:
  • image
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

this is so important

(via spencereliot)

nohnoelle:

How To Train Your Humans

nohnoelle:

How To Train Your Humans

(Source: epic-humor, via spencereliot)

hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

(via spencereliot)

deadpresidents:

I’m still very curious about how this happened within the last 24 hours. I mean, I’m flattered and I hope I don’t disappoint all of these new followers, but if this influx had happened three weeks ago, my 2014 Presidential Rankings would have seemed like the natural reason for the new followers. 

Instead, I’m seeing no other possible explanation besides my stunning good looks and, quite frankly, that feels cheap. Sure, it’s an obvious advantage, but I’d like to be recognized first for my intellect rather than the fact that I belong on a fashion runway as I’ve been told millions of times, okay thousands of times, okay hundreds of times, okay dozens of times, okay, maybe once, in a dream, but it seemed very real.

EDIT: "maybe once"

deadpresidents:

I’m still very curious about how this happened within the last 24 hours. I mean, I’m flattered and I hope I don’t disappoint all of these new followers, but if this influx had happened three weeks ago, my 2014 Presidential Rankings would have seemed like the natural reason for the new followers.

Instead, I’m seeing no other possible explanation besides my stunning good looks and, quite frankly, that feels cheap. Sure, it’s an obvious advantage, but I’d like to be recognized first for my intellect rather than the fact that I belong on a fashion runway as I’ve been told millions of times, okay thousands of times, okay hundreds of times, okay dozens of times, okay, maybe once, in a dream, but it seemed very real.

EDIT: "maybe once"

ilovecharts:

curiosamathematica:

The Google trend for the search query “quadratic formula”.
It repeats in the same pattern every year. Down in summer, up in September, down again in December and up again in spring time before going down again in the summer. And so it goes on forever.

via livingonabear

ilovecharts:

curiosamathematica:

The Google trend for the search query “quadratic formula”.

It repeats in the same pattern every year. Down in summer, up in September, down again in December and up again in spring time before going down again in the summer. And so it goes on forever.

via 

hannadercan:

lovealishadawn:

la-temeraire:

marigolds-sorry:

I really really needed this wow

i caNNOT STOP LAUGHING

LOOK AT THOSE POSITIVE ROLE MODELS

SAY NO TO PEER PRESSURE

This is great and also literally what 4kids did to yugioh.

pharaohnorman:

Disney Fade Out

(via thatmagicaldisneyplace)

eretzyisrael:

The Truth - Israel gives up land for Peace.

eretzyisrael:

The Truth - Israel gives up land for Peace.

(via proudgayconservative)

faithcollapsing:

A Conservative’s first day on Tumblr.

faithcollapsing:

A Conservative’s first day on Tumblr.

(Source: itellyawut, via proudgayconservative)